The Beatles and Screenwriting: A counter argument

http://www.complicationsensue.blogspot.com/search?q=self+taught

This post (FROM THE AWESOME BLOG...COMPLICATIONS ENSUE...) argues that because the beatles were self taught, they fooled around on their guitars, and created very unorthodox chord variations, and that this proves that following formulaic advice will lead to distinctly un-beatles like writing. It argues that only by figuring things out for yourself, can you truly create a memorable piece of work.

Shirk the formula, and you will (can…maybe) be the Paul McCartney of screenwriting. Stick to the formula, and drown in mediocrity.

But I see it differently. To me, the beatles were masters of formula. The chord variations they stumbled upon only enriched songs that were already brilliantly formulaic in construction. Their songs are simple creations that are bolstered by creative chords – not defined by them.

So in screenwriting, I think that it is fine to follow proven formulas (at least loosely). Hit your beats! You become the beatles not by ignoring proven techniques (formulaic or not), but by creating beautiful dialogue flourishes, concise and effective action, and by tying images together with instinctive pacing and flow.

These elements are what define a great screenplay. Like the beatles, writers that master these techniques have a natural gift, at least to some extent. They can hear flat dialogue, they can spot missed jokes, and they can intuitively feel what works. These screenplays are texturally magnificent, formulaic or not, and this is what defines their greatness.

Hopefully this makes sense. It’s just been stewing in my head since reading this post, and I thought it might make an interesting counter argument.

Really though – the initial post is certainly thought provoking. Check it out.

Screenwriting tricks we hate...Version 2.0 - OVERHEARING

Screenwriting tricks we hate: the lazy reveal

Dick had sex with Jane’s sister.

Jane has no idea. She and Dick gonna get married in 2 weeks.

3 days before the wedding Jane is doing the dishes when she happens to overhear Dick and her sister talking about the fated intercourse outside the kitchen window.

Complications ensue.

We’ve been meaning to write about this for a while.  It drives us crazy, and we were reminded about it whilst watching the gripping new Lifetime masterpiece, “The Pregnancy Pact”.  A huge reveal occurs accidentally when boyfriend essentially overhears the big secret.

Reasons this sucks: It’s lazy.  A lot of writers allow their hero to stumble into this kind of information.  But can’t you get your protagonist to find this out another way? Make your hero constantly in pursuit of the truth, constantly put your hero face to face with the conflict, and your hero won’t have to stumble onto major plot points.  They will create plot points. Your story will move better. And people will like your hero even more.

Really.  When’s the last time you OVERHEARD something that completely changed your life story?

Screenwriting in the supermarket - Drawing characters

INT. SUPERMARKET - NIGHT


Dick, handsome as ever, wearing a cowboy hat and steel toed boots, strolls through the aisles powerfully.  Change JANGLES as ambles, and EMPLOYEES turn to him in awe as he passes. Dick stops when he notices Jane, beautiful and elegant, stocking cereal.

DICK
Uh...hi.

Jane wipes sweat from her brow and nods respectfully.

JANE
I heard snowstorm tonight. You here for canned goods?

Dick shifts nervously in his colossal foot wear.

DICK
I...I...uh...I just kinda saw you there. And I thought, well gee, you're pretty. Do you think that -

JANE
Canned goods aisle five. Get.

DICK
Do you think...maybe...do you wanna go on a date with me sometime? Maybe lunch?

JANE
I might could consider it.


Dick looks down sheepishly. Then he glances up. Their eyes meet.

JANE
Soup. Green beans. Green broccoli. Celery.

She looks at Dick deviously and winks.

JANE
Creamed corn...


Dick wobbles and stumbles backwards.

DICK
Yea...yes ma'am. Aisle five. Got it. Th-th-thank -

JANE
Get.

This was extreme but there are two points here.  1) Draw broad, distinct and memorable characters. Give their speech a unique cadence and rhythm. Make every character sound completely different.  You can always scale back if needed. 2) Always consider reversals! The action here sets up completely opposite characters than what's played out in dialogue.  The cowboy is the quivering mess, and the stock girl is confident and strong.  You can use reversals like this all over your script.  Maybe Dick actually is the strong, confident type, but he meets Jane and melts. Jane is the only cowgirl in the supermarket to meet Dick's confidence with her own brand of home-bred arrogance.  Or maybe you just you these two characters or their relationship for constant comic relief.  There is a wealth of jokes in reversals, so plumb the depths greedily.

TOP TEN NETFLIX WATCH INSTANTLY MOVIES: PRE 1990

Cut down on time spent perusing your virtual queue and amp up time spent actually watching quality movies...instantly.

1) Dr. Strangelove
2) One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
3) Paper Moon
4) Cool Hand Luke
5) My Life As A Dog
6) Being There
7) Charade
8) Taxi Driver
9) On the Waterfront
10) Dirty Harry

Don't give your Dick telepathy...stay in your world!

You've set up a world where your protag has one power...laser beam eyes.  No one else has a power. Just your protag...and just the one gift.  But then this happens...

EXT. BANK - DAY

Dick and Jane stand in line at RUPT BANK. Jane taps her foot impatiently. Dick checks his phone. An OLD LADY mutters incoherently at the teller window. THUGS storm in angrily.  LEAD THUG  pushes the Old Lady down.

LEAD THUG

Shut up, bitch!

The frail old woman recoils, terrified. Her lip quivers silently. DUMB THUG slaps her in the face with all his might. THWAP.

DUMB THUG

He said shut up...bitch!

Lead Thug shakes his head at Dumb Thug, incredulous.

LEAD THUG

Jesus, Ronnie. Every time?

Lead Thug turns back to the TELLER angrily.

LEAD THUG

Give us all your fuckin' money!

The Dumb Thug hands over a plastic Halloween pumpkin. Lead Thug shakes his head again. Shoves a metal briefcase at the teller. Jane turns to Dick quietly.

JANE

Do something. Dick! Come on.

Dick nods. Surveys the situation.  Laser beams scorch from his eyes and sizzle into the Lead Thug's knee caps.  The gangster falls to the ground with an agonizing SCREAM.

Dick smirks. Jane hugs him. Dumb Thug backs away sheepishly as he slowly reaches behind his back.

DUMB THUG

Uh...I...I'm only here for comic relief.

                                                     Don't cripple me by laser beam! I just

                                                     got a puppy!

Dick continues to smiley smugly. Suddenly, he narrows his eyes, digs in and sprints towards the dumb thug.

DICK

Everybody take cover!

Dick tackles the dummy with quick power. The dumb thug hits the ground. Hard. A small canister marked "XXX" CLATTERS to the ground harmlessly. Dick grabs the canister and disarms it before knocking the Dumb Thug out with a powerful punch.

DICK

Comic relief my left eyebrow.

                                                          This dunce was the mastermind

                                                           all along.

JANE

Oh, Dick! How did you know?

DICK

Telepathy.

JANE

But I thought...

DICK

Laser eyes and telepathy. Those are

                                                      my powers.

JANE

We've been dating the entire movie

                                                       but somehow....

DICK

There are lots of things you don't

                                                        know about me.

Dick winks.

DICK

Lots of things.

He closes his eyes and mutates into a frog. Jane smiles, impressed, as Dick hops away.

Yes...this was a little long winded...but we think it's a good example of what NOT to do.  DON'T LEAVE YOUR WORLD.  Just because your world has one mystical element, doesn't mean ANYTHING can happen.  It's tempting, but don't give your Dick telepathy.  No good can come of it.

10 BEST NETFLIX WATCH INSTANTLY MOVIES (POST 1990)

We spend what seems like an hour many nights cruising through Net Flix for really good instant movies.  Thus, we thought it might be a nice idea to list the best...shorten some searches.  Although we've already seen most of these, they are all good to rewatch...plus, they're available any time!

Also to come this week: 10 Best documentaries, foreign, and (of course) pre 1990.

1) AS GOOD AS IT GETS
2) MY COUSIN VINNY
3) SHAWSHANK
4) LOCK, STOCK AND TWO SMOKING BARRELS
5) JERRY MACGUIRE
6) ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND
7) LITTLE NICKY
8) THE BIG LEBOWSKI
9) GROUNDHOG DAY
10) LOST: SEASON 5 (had to include it...)

Couldn't stop laughing in the checkout line...

BULLET POINTS ARE RIDICULOUS!!

1. 'Insane' threats about harming herself.
2. BIZARRE JOKES ABOUT EATING DOGS AND CHILDREN.
3. Pretends to be dating hunky stars.
   

A bad bit of dialogue explored...

"I HAVE A CONFESSION..."

This is one of the most over used and ill-advised bits of dialogue out there. It should make every “bad dialogue” list out there, but somehow slips through the cracks.

INT. THE TRENDY CAFÉ – DAY

Dick sips tea pensively. Jane enters in a hurry. Sits down across from Dick.
 

JANE
What is it? What’s the matter?

DICK
Jane. I have a confession…

He looks at her sheepishly, closes his eyes and opens them slowly.

DICK
You know how I never go to the bathroom? 

                         Well…it’s because I wear a diaper. I'm

                          wearing one now.

Jane is frozen. Dick breathes a sigh of relief.

DICK
Wow, it feels good to get that off my chest.

Jane remains awe struck. She slumps her shoulders and furrows her brow.

DICK
…I just shat.

See how bad that is? The little bit of dialogue “I have a confession…” is completely trite. Yea…that’s how some people talk…but it’s so lame as a piece of dialogue. It separates us from the character and takes away from the power of what they’re about to say. One might argue that it’s used to quickly build tension. It immediately gets the reader wondering right away. BUT wouldn’t it be better if subtext go that information across. The scene builds slowly. Dick gets more and more uncomfortable, then suddenly just blurts it out…I WEAR A DIAPER.

Plus “I have a confession…” sets up huge expectations that are almost always let down. And if the confession was important enough in the first place, it doesn’t need this pretext at all.

Another lazy trick to avoid.

Screenwriting tricks we hate...Version 1.0

THE CONVENIENT CUT AWAY!

This all-too-often used trick is really, really stupid.  It bothers us because, more than anything, it’s just lazy.  Here’s an example.

INT. JANE’S BEDROOM – DAY

JANE, kisses a YOUNG DICK (lolol) on the cheek. His lips quiver. She drags her finger lightly through his hair.

JANE

I’ll be right back. I’ve got a surprise for you…

DICK

Where are you going?

JANE

Be patient, horndog. I’ll b.r.b.

She smiles coyly.

The dorky loser sighs as Jane slinks out. He looks around the room uncomfortably. Sees a poster of a young Hasselhoff, shirtless on the beach, oiled up and looking good.

Dick regards the photo thoughtfully.  Rips his Batman t-shirt off and drops his corduroys to the ground. He steps out of his pants and his eyes dart around the room. He spots some lotion and smiles to himself.

DICK

Perfect…

He proceeds to cover himself in baby oil. Head to toe. He's dripping wet. He looks in the mirror, rubs the oil in, glances at Hasselhoff and smirks.

KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK.

DICK

Come in…uh…I’m ready for you...

The door CREAKS open. Oh no. It’s Jane's militant, gun toting DADDY.  Daddy narrows his eyes and takes the safety off his gun. Dick's eyes widen.

DICK

Uh…uh…um…hi?

Jane’s footsteps THUD hurriedly down the hallway. She pushes past her parents. Sees the horny nerd dripping in oil.

And that’s it. The scene cuts away to Jane apologizing to the nerd. Or the nerd talking to his nerd friends. We don’t see how the nerd got out of the situation.  We don’t really see the girl’s reaction and the seemingly impossible situation is never mentioned again.

Never a “Uh…why were you dripping wet and shiny?” Never a “You’re lucky the gun had blanks.” And most importantly, we never get an explanation of how he got out of the situation.  We have an awesome opportunity to learn about ALL THREE CHARACTERS and it’s abandoned because it’s too hard. 

Imagine all the places the scene could have gone. How the kid could have tried to explain it. How other things could have come up. How the girl maybe is actually understanding and thinks it’s kind of cute or WHATEVER. We could have learned something here, but the writers were lazy.

A lot of times, this situation clearly arises when a writer is too married to a joke.  You see it a lot in drafts.  A joke is clearly impractical and damages the script and narrative, but it stays in.   It’s an impossible joke that undermines the rest of the screenplay, and that is why the writer has to use the CUT AWAY…it’s a lazy screenwriter’s EMERGENCY EVACUATION button.

Don’t do it, yo!

Also, if you liked the excerpt above, it’s from a feature we just finished called “DAD, DON’T SHOOT DICK: COVERED IN BABY OIL”.

Inciting Incident

INT. THE APARTMENT, LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Stephen Colbert's annoying, abrasive voice BLARES. Dick, 22, sits on the couch, disinterested. JANE, also 22,  reads coupons like they're the newspaper.

DICK

Yo. Blogs fuckin' suck.


JANE
Yea dude. I hate blogging.


DICK
It's like. I really don't care what
you have to say, guy from Subway.


JANE
Yea. Just stop fucking blogging. Blogs
are stupid. Bloggers are conceited.

Dick mutes Colbert. Finally. He casts a curious glance towards Jane.

DICK

We should probably start a blog...

JANE

                                                        I'm in.

Okay. Hey everyone.   We think we're pretty funny...so here is our blog. We'll basically write about anything, but we'll try to post about SCREENWRITING as much as possible. 

See Ya!
Dick and Jane

p.s. forgive the spacing. If we can figure out how to use scrippet so the spacing isn't totally off, we're gonna do it.